sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
