I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
