I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
