i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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