She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
