she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
