Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
