Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
