I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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