Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
