I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize