what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
