Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
