I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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