I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
