Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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