Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
