I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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