let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
