You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
