I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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