Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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