Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
