dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
