Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
