Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
