I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
