Texts From Last Night · mxt14's Favorites

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's always exciting to touch a new boob.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?

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