Texts From Last Night · tonaccus's Favorites

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tonaccus's Favorites Texts:

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(812): View more from Indiana

This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

Fav 17 1186 5289
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(775): View more from Nevada

FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

Fav 25 7024 1608
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

Fav 50 20775 2680
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(806): View more from Texas

You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.

Fav 19 6914 1406
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

Fav 19 16127 2493
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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

Fav 111 47667 3211
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

Fav 290 63940 5489
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