Last Night in North Carolina (910)

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  another moral hangover. fuck.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I THINK I SHARTED

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right

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