Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (573)

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Last Night in Missouri (573)

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(573): View more from Missouri

He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"

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(573): View more from Missouri

This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket

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(573): View more from Missouri

You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing

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(573): View more from Missouri

I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.

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(573): View more from Missouri

The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.

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(573): View more from Missouri

You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!

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(573): View more from Missouri

Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection

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