Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
only you would photoshop your dick
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
