he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
