You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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