My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
