Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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