i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
