her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
