I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
