He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
