I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
