listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
