You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this beer tastes like vomit already
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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