So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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