Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
