I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
