Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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