At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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