Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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