I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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