Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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